4/15/06
It dull and overcast, and a strong cold wind is blowing through town. I should be cleaning my house, but fuck it, I’m being lazy. And this is my journal so I can say fuck it whenever I like. Fuck it.

Anyway, on being a “creative.” I’ve long believed that all humans are creatives. It’s a fundamental part of being a human being. Many people say “Oh, I can’t do that, I’m not creative.” But the truth is they are just in denial. It’s scary to create. So in fear of other’s judgement they shy away from it.

How much security there must be in being an accountant for example (“creative” accountants not withstanding, heh heh). Numbers don’t lie, they cannot be personal, and cannot reveal anything about their author. (Or if they do, it’s damn obscure.) So people hide in their non-creative jobs.

I am a creative. Though I too hide. We designers create behind the guise of promoting a product, or communicating a message or thought. But it is not our message. We hide behind the ideas of others. Oh sure, occasionaly a little of our own creative vision sneaks out and can be recognized. Who wouldn’t know a Herb Lubalin logo, or a Milton Glaser ad? Well, who in the design community, older than 25. But even they didn’t reveal THEMSELVES. They revealed the client, through their designer lenses.

In my own work, I am a chameleon. I hide so well that I do not recognize myself AT ALL in my professional work. (Maybe others do, but I do not.) This is an asset sometimes, maybe most times. I’ve tried doing other work, personal work, but I self-censor. I disappear before the image ever hits the canvas, paper or pixel. Why is this? Fear. No doubt about it. I’ve only just this year at 50+ had the nerve to frame something I did and hang it on the wall in my public rooms. And it’s just a flower for fuck’s sake!

People who celebrate their creativity by DOING it are courageous people. People who a have a vision–their very own vision–and who put it out there. It’s a bit like standing naked in the village square. Courageous. Crazy. Defiant even. I salute you.

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