Originally posted on Live Journal 3/2/04
So I know my vast numbers of readers are tensely awaiting the next installment of “Our Trip to Belize.” Will they go flying over the the cliff or won’t they? But you’ll just have to wait.

We went to a party tonight and I had my limit of two glasses of red wine. Yes two whole glasses and I’m toasty. Now I am in bed with my trusty Mac, and starting to sober up, dammit. Ok you perves can just keep it to yourselves.

Anyway the wine and the random discussion, and my current mindset has got me to thinking about the meaning of success. I think that there are so many of my generation that equate success with financial rewards. While there are certainly many people in every generation for whom money is the ultimate measure of a man or woman, it does seem more prevalent in mine. Why I wonder? My “generation” means those people who are today in their 40’s and 50s.

I am now makng about as much money as I had ever hoped to. That is to say I never expeccted to be very well off, but reasonably comfortable. I don’t have luxuries, but I don’t want for them. I have what I want and need, nothing less or more. This is actually a good thing isn’t it? I have worked hard more or less all my adult life and I should be satisfied and content with that and its rewards. Yes, I should. But…

The creative side of me yearns, nay, lusts for more. Not more “success” just more opportunity to be alive. That’s the creative side talking. The logical side is busy stuffing Ms. creative back in the closet and worrying about appearances. And well yes, as an Art Director, I am supposed to be a “creative”, but lets be real here. I have an art department to run, and that means conforming, and FAST dammit. No faster. And what’s taking so damn long, and what’s with these errors? So what have you been doing anyway?

So I’ve been toying with several changes in my life, moving house maybe, a possible change in the direction of my professional life. Trying to find time to actually rediscover that artist type I left back in highschool…and this has absolutely nothing to do with my 50th birthday coming up.

But, I ponder just the same what is the average value of quality of life?

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